I'm having such a difficult time mentally. I'm not adjusting to college well. My mom is abusive as usual. My self esteem is the lowest it can possibly be. Im someone whos very shy and reserved but I cry in public now because of how bad I feel day-to-day. I live in a conservative country, but I go to a university thats very liberal, very committed to the whole pretending you care about mental health stuff. I have basically been publicizing my cries for help and no one will listen to me. Theres a whole guidance counselling division ofc but they do jack s###. This f###### uni always goes on and on about how mental health is important, talk to someone, reach out if you need help. This is the first time in my life that Ive been stretched thin enough to think that I NEED help. But when I need it, its not accessible at all. My college guidance counsellor doesnt give a f### about students, shes very self absorbed. My experience talking with her was terrible. Im apparently not allowed to seek out other guidance counsellors because "theyre not assigned to my college." What if I killed myself? What would you do? Would it matter then if I belonged to that college or not? I dont even know where to start with the guidance division, theres no information whatsoever on who to talk to, who to approach, what to do if you think you need help. I feel so f###### crazy, genuinely, my life is a living h###. I cry every day and I tell others that I dont feel well or I feel bad and its just crickets. I think I should just die. Its not worth the effort. Getting "help" or at least someone to f###### talk to shouldnt be this difficult. Its jusr so ironic, Ive felt this way countless times in my life, but the one time I decide to act and try to help myself, its just not feasible.