I'm so f###### frustrated with myself. I've been with my current boyfriend for three years now, and you'd think I'd be completely over my ex by this point. But nope, I'm still stuck on him.
It's been four years since we broke up, and I thought I'd long since closed that chapter of my life. But the truth is, I still think about him all the time. I wonder what he's up to, if he's happy, if he ever thinks about me too.
It's not fair to my current boyfriend, I know that. He's an amazing guy who loves me with all his heart, and I'm stuck here pining for someone who's long gone. I feel so guilty, like I'm living a lie.
But at the same time, I don't know how to let go. Those feelings, they're still so real to me. I remember the way he used to make me laugh, the way he'd hold my hand, the way he'd look at me like I was the only person in the world.
I know it's not healthy, and I need to move on. But it's hard when a part of me still feels like I'm meant to be with him. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's okay to still have feelings for an ex, even if it's been years. It's okay to be confused and unsure. And it's okay to take your time figuring it all out.