My mom drives me absolutely up the wall. Ever since she lost her job as a special ed teacher in January, I’ve been financially supporting her. Recently, I had a gout flare-up in my foot and couldn’t walk. I gave her money and asked for a few essentials—medication, some weed from the dispensary, and food that wouldn’t make my condition worse. What did she bring? A half-empty bottle of acetaminophen, a tiny amount of street weed wrapped in a napkin, and six ham and cheese Hot Pockets—foods I can’t even eat because they trigger my gout.
Whenever she needs something, I step up. But when I need help, it’s like she puts in the bare minimum effort, and I’m left dealing with the consequences. She hasn’t even applied for a new job because she can’t figure out how to update her résumé. It’s the same pattern I’ve seen my whole life—half-hearted attempts followed by guilt-tripping apologies like, 'I’m sorry I’m not a perfect mother.'
Growing up, I couldn’t have friends over because she was a hoarder. I didn’t make real friends in school because I’d leave the house smelling bad. She always found money for yard sales and thrift stores but told me we couldn’t afford college, so I had to earn a scholarship. And now, when I’m in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, she still can’t prioritize what I actually need.
She constantly says she loves me, but her actions don’t reflect that. It’s all talk, no follow-through. I’m at the point where I want to tell her that love isn’t just words—it’s about showing up and thinking about what someone actually needs. Maybe I sound entitled, but I’m just so done with the excuses and the half-efforts.