I'm still reeling from that conversation with my classmate. She opened up to me about her struggles with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and I felt like I was frozen in place. All I could muster up was a weak "same," which sounds ridiculous now. It's not that I'm not empathetic or caring; it's just that her words hit way too close to home.
I've been struggling with my own demons, and the last thing I want to do is pretend like I'm some kind of expert on how to fix everything. But at the same time, I couldn't just ignore her or tell her to "stay strong" and expect that to magically solve everything. That's not how it works.
What I wish I could've said was something like, "Hey, I'm here for you, and I'm struggling too, but we can figure this out together." Or maybe, "I don't have all the answers, but I care about you, and we can find resources to help." Anything more genuine and supportive than a hollow "same."
It's scary to admit, but I'm not sure how to help someone else when I'm barely holding it together myself. But maybe that's the thing – we don't have to have it all together to be there for each other. Maybe we just need to be willing to listen, to be present, and to say, "I'm here for you, and we're in this together."
Be respectful, no personal info, and no hate speech.
Read more