Ever since I met that one friend I’ve gotten a lot worse mentally. I think it’s due to me mirroring them, becoming overly attached, and getting used to that intensity when I was their FP. I liked it. I liked them constantly thinking about me and interacting with me and I miss that, even if things are HEALTHIER now. I’m way too overly attached and don’t know how to stop and I’ve noticed I’m starting to become overly attached to some other people like it’s my brain’s way of coping.
I have a “crush” on two friends but I’m very hesitant to do anything about it both due to general anxiety and a fear that I don’t truly love them but rather the idea of them and therefore our relationship would be unhealthy. But I really, really wanna date them both… they’re both polyamorous and dating each other so it’s technically POSSIBLE and could be really fun it’s just. I fear things will be unhealthy. Sigh. Got a more advanced therapy session this Friday. Hopefully they’ll get me set up with EDMR or something.