I wonder if people would be chill with me infodumping about my hyperfixations here like I did on muttr?

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Yeah so basically. What happened was that after my mother died it made my attachment issues 1000000x worse. I've always kinda had an issue with becoming codependent on people and latching onto one specific person but only recently did it become this severe. And this friend of mine now no longer wants anything to do with me. They have not only cut off me but several of our other friends because I am dating someone who talked badly about them. I was under the impression things between them were fine now because he apologized. They knew I was close friends with him and did not say anything. I would have stopped being friends with him and never dated him had they simply communicated they had an issue with it, but they didn't. They didn't communicate anything. They just...blocked me and everyone else in our friend group on everything. Most people are dating our side except for one other friend who I really, really trusted.
I ended up in the hospital over this because I wanted to kms so bad but also wanted to keep myself safe. I wanted to, at least, live to have some nice moments with... Read More

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I got so f****** insane in the past year and a half. I feel like the people who knew me from muttr are f****** reeling. Yes I am genuinely considering killing myself because a friend doesn't like me anymore and this feels like my world crumbling down because I don't have much else to live for. I just want to die.

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My boyfriend said me talking about being suicidal on my priv twitter is depressing him. I'm actually gonna do it I swear to f****** g**

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Is it really okay to just...abandon your best friend and whole friend group because your friend dated someone who said s***** stuff about you...?
I'm doubting myself. For clarity I am not the one who did the abandoning, I am the one dating the guy. I did so because I was under the impression he apologized and there was no longer any ill will, but it has resulted in my best friend completely shutting me out. Am I in the wrong?

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I miss them really bad. Did I really mean so little to them?

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So uh my best friend blocked me on everything for dating this guy because they don’t get along well with him. Was suicidal and went to the hospital and got hospitalized. I’m out now but still feel like I can’t survive without them. They genuinely want nothing to do with me. They were my favorite person.

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Ever since I met that one friend I’ve gotten a lot worse mentally. I think it’s due to me mirroring them, becoming overly attached, and getting used to that intensity when I was their FP. I liked it. I liked them constantly thinking about me and interacting with me and I miss that, even if things are HEALTHIER now. I’m way too overly attached and don’t know how to stop and I’ve noticed I’m starting to become overly attached to some other people like it’s my brain’s way of coping.
I have a “crush” on two friends but I’m very hesitant to do anything about it both due to general anxiety and a fear that I don’t truly love them but rather the idea of them and therefore our relationship would be unhealthy. But I really, really wanna date them both… they’re both polyamorous and dating each other so it’s technically POSSIBLE and could be really fun it’s just. I fear things will be unhealthy. Sigh. Got a more advanced therapy session this Friday. Hopefully they’ll get me set up with EDMR or something.

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I really don’t think I’m his crush. This makes me feel really sad. I thought I was. What if I ruined my chance

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This whole situation is absurd. So basically. I have a friend with BPD and likely some other cluster B disorder and we became friends and I was their FP. Me being their FP means they gave me lots of attention and I really enjoyed it.
But nowadays I’m not really their FP anymore. I am genuinely a close friend of theirs. But they have a problem with avoiding those they genuinely care about. So it’s led to me feeling unwanted or abandoned and like I NEED to be their FP again even though me not being their FP is a good thing- it’s a sign they genuinely like and care for me MORE because the FP attachment is inherently shallow. But now we rarely talk and I’m so sad I wanna talk to them more come back care about me again please
(They literally do care about me a lot) anyway AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA send help this is genuinely destroying me

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