I swear, being 45 feels like standing in the middle of a d### circus while juggling flaming bowling pins no one warned you about. You hit this age and suddenly you’re expected to have it all figured out—career, marriage, house, retirement plans, maybe a kid in college or one still peeing on the seat—and yet half the time I’m wondering how the h### I got here. I blinked and went from “young guy with potential” to “middle-aged man who should know better.”
Everything hurts now. My back? Mystery pain. Knees? Cracking like bubble wrap every time I stand up. Can’t eat spicy food after 8 p.m. or I’ll be up all night questioning my life over acid reflux. And don’t even get me started on the tech. I just want the d### TV to work, not have to update 14 apps and log in with a code texted to a number I don’t even use anymore.
Meanwhile, work still sucks, bills never stop, and somehow I’m expected to stay calm, eat healthy, exercise, keep up with the news, and be emotionally available? Bro. I’m just trying to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
I’m not saying life’s all bad. I’ve got moments of peace, laughter, pride. But damn… this age hits different. It’s like being stuck between “I miss the old days” and “please don’t let me die from stress.” #MidlifeMayhem #TooYoungToQuitTooOldToCare #AgingIsWeird #JustLetMeNap #LifeIsLoud #MiddleAgedRant