I need a deep connection with my partner before intimacy. Just physical touch isn't enough; I need to feel seen, valued, and genuinely paid attention to through shared time and effort.
Tonight, I wanted to watch a movie, but my partner preferred physical closeness. Due to past traumas, I need that deeper connection to feel safe and truly present for intimacy. Without it, I feel used or ignored, especially when I've anticipated shared time. I realize I need to communicate this more clearly. I ended up giving a massage, but my heart wasn't in it – I craved doing something together.
I simply need to feel loved and secure. Intimacy is difficult for me without that foundational connection; I get tense and can't relax. Does anyone else relate to needing this strong connection first?