I don’t even know what I’m holding on for anymore.
It’s like… I wake up, and before I even open my eyes, I feel that weight. The one that sits on your chest and whispers “why bother?” before your feet even touch the floor.

I smile at people. I laugh when I’m supposed to. But inside? I’m just quietly falling apart.
Everyone thinks I’m okay. I’m good at faking it. I’ve had years of practice.
I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of pretending I’m not lonely when the silence in my room is so loud it hurts.
I’m tired of trying to explain how I feel only to get hit with “you’ll be fine” or “it could be worse.”
G##, I know it could be worse. But it doesn’t make this hurt any less.
Sometimes I just want someone to look at me and really see me. Not the version I package for the world. The broken, exhausted, barely-holding-it-together version that just needs someone to care.

I don’t want to be dramatic. I just… don’t want to feel like this anymore.
And I don’t even know how to say that out loud without making everyone uncomfortable.
So I’ll just leave it here. In this quiet corner.
Because maybe that’s all I have the strength for right now.