i hate my “life,” or whatever you call this. i swing between empty and p#####. i don’t like my face, my choices, my spot on the ladder. i lie, i cheat little, i do dumb stuff and justify it after. i scroll women i’ll never touch and then hate myself for it. sometimes i want to burn it all down because mine already feels ash. i’m not proud. i’m just tired and close to snapping and that scares me.