Cant keep doin this s### it jus feels like im stuck in mud n everyone else runnin ahead laughin smilin livin n im jus here rottin. wake up dead sleep dead inbetween fake smiles fake laughs ppl think im ok but nah im breakin n nobody sees it. look in mirror its not even me its some empty husk blank eyes n i dont even care anymore if im gone, maybe easier for everyone else. nights the worst tho layin there n brain wont shut up replayin all the dumb s### i did all the ways i failed all the ppl who left me.
lonely dont mean bein alone nah it mean sittin in a room full of ppl n still invisible, like they talk over u like u air. wanna scream smash walls bleed just so someone notices but then think nah they’d jus say stop bein dramatic grow up move on but im not fine never was fine im sinkin slow as h### like drownin n everyone think oh look theyre floatin theyre good. im not. im not.