I built a pedestal at 14 and had to tear it down myself

2003: I meet a girl (call her Bella) at my mom’s office Christmas party. Kid stuff. Spark, snow, cookies, done. Life moves on. I barely think about her in 2004.

Summer 2005: I’m about to start an all-boys high school and I do the insecure thing a lot of kids do: I tell people I have a girlfriend at a girls’ school. It’s “Bella.” It’s armor so I’m not the kid eating lunch alone. Then come the questions: pics? why didn’t she come to the game? I improvise. It’s exhausting.

2007: We actually reconnect on AIM. I figure, great, maybe this makes my story feel less fake. Instead, the pedestal starts to wobble. Some of what she says lands cold. I find out she’s already got a boyfriend. The fantasy keeps losing air.

If you’ve seen As Told by Ginger, the episode “Ginger’s Solo”, that quiet “oh” when she realizes her summer-camp crush is taken? Same vibe. No explosion, just gravity. Bit by bit, my “Bella” pedestal turns to dust.

July 2007: I don’t see her romantically anymore. We message until December, then it fizzles.

December 2007: Theology class. One question too many about my “girlfriend.” Something in me finally snaps. I say it out loud: “I lied. She was never my girlfriend.” I brace for the roast. It never comes. Room goes quiet. A couple nods. Respect. Easiest breath I’d taken in two years. Lunch stops being a performance.

Epilogue: We later end up at the same university and never speak. No drama, no hard feelings. Just proof the Summer 2005 pedestal was always dust.

TL;DR: Met “Bella” in 2003, told my all-boys school she was my girlfriend to survive 2005. Reconnected in 2007; the fantasy unraveled. In December 2007 I said, “I lied — she was never my girlfriend.” No roast, just respect. Pedestal gone. Life got lighter.