i don't feel like i was ever alive before i died. i've never had a conversation in person with someone other than my family in my life. i haven't left the house in six years, and i promise you it's not because i want to.

every idea i have of myself is just an idea. i've never done half the things i tell myself i like. i think i do like a lot, or i would if i were somewhere else. i feel unbearably, excruciatingly lonely. i wish i could disappear to wherever i came from.