My brain is waiting for my own death. There is good around me, there are so many people trying to show love, and yet I'm stuck hoping for disconnection so that I can just die without repercussion to others. It comes from a nasty childhood full of the opposite, and that nowadays I can't even trust what appears to be sincere love. I feel toxic, and just don't want to spread this. I will keep struggling forward, because I know I'm wrong, deep down. I don't want to ruin my friends along the way tho.