there is a guy in my source and i really really screwed up with him and i feel bad but i can't do anything because im in this phuckass universe, not that one. he was one of the sweetest people in reality so why did i have to go and do something stupid? sure i didn't mean to cause like. permanent harm but that doesn't phucking matter atp cuz i still considered the possibilities and thought it was a great idea
he was an a###### sometimes yes but i really epically screwed up
sometimes i manifest him so i don't feel so lonely but it doesn't even feel like he's there half the time because i have delusional disorder and nothing feels real, especially something like that which isn't supposed to be real.
everything is just wrong. wrong world, wrong body, wrong family, everything. faaack.