how did i pull such a pure and perfect individual
im undesirable as s### and im friends with a bunch of paraphilic weirdos on twitter (ily paraphilic weirdos)
plus im genuinely so abusive. nobody ever stays pure around me
but the spawn has blessed me with yet another partner. now i actually feel like im in a relationship (im in an in-sys relationship but sometimes my syswife doesn't feel real if that makes sense)
g## i love them
they need to move to canada with me and have little library dates
my grandma doesn't know im not straight so i think i could maybe even get them to come stay the night sometime
oh gosh

i desperately need a footlong chili dog from sonic with a strawberry slushie
or an italian subway sandwich
or a hoagie from larosa's with both pizza and mushroom sauce
why are we so broke bro im tired of eating ramen and i don't like the chicken we have

ive been melting down for like 4-5 hours now
i am autistic and that's probably the source of it but it's frustrating not knowing what the h### is up. ive hit things, thrown things, stomped a lot, made a lot of food, almost cried a couple times but not quite, cleaned the bathroom sink twice impulsively, and rocked back and forth quite a g###### bit. none of it is enough though
idek what im mad about which is making it worse
i just need to kill

hi everyone! it's been a while d###
i initially planned to never reveal my age here but i think it's necessary to do so in order for you to understand what a big milestone this is.
so im starting high school in 9 days- im the polar opposite of unc, i know- and i don't think any set of words can capture my excitement. ive actually been stimming thinking about it from time to time. im so g###### pumped for this. ik it's probably gonna be just like 7th grade and im gonna immediately regret being excited, but this is where my life truly begins. ill get a job next summer (or as early as october) and then when im 18, hopefully im OUTTA HERE!
im sure a much wiser adult is reading this and thinking life sucks or i shouldn't be excited, but when youre in my abusive h###,...Read Full Rant

continuing the last post, i should also mention it has spread to my headmate. he's being hateful for no reason too and i really don't know what's causing it but it's making me mad
i just think im not satisfied with my life but idek

a bit of a positive rant to switch things up
as any RW frequenters may have noticed, my cat sugar did in fact pass about a week ago. i mean of course im not happy about it but she would've wanted me to celebrate her rather than mourn her, as would the spawn, so ive been doing just that.
anyway i have a new cat now who i adopted yesterday and she is called doodle (only perfect for an artist to have a cat with that name although i didn't name her). this cat has the best temperament and sociability of any of the cats ive owned in my life (4 including her) like she LITERALLY STANDS ON ME AND HEADBUTTS MY FACE AND ALL. AND SHE HAS THE SWEETEST LITTLE VOICE
she will not exit my room to eat or drink tho, i mean she might've overnight her food...Read Full Rant

there is a guy in my source and i really really screwed up with him and i feel bad but i can't do anything because im in this phuckass universe, not that one. he was one of the sweetest people in reality so why did i have to go and do something stupid? sure i didn't mean to cause like. permanent harm but that doesn't phucking matter atp cuz i still considered the possibilities and thought it was a great idea
he was an a###### sometimes yes but i really epically screwed up
sometimes i manifest him so i don't feel so lonely but it doesn't even feel like he's there half the time because i have delusional disorder and nothing feels real, especially something like that which isn't supposed to be real.
everything is just wrong. wrong world, wrong body, wrong family, everything. faaack.

it's just that i ask barely nothing of my brother and he can't even do that or be present in my life
he said it himself he went with me to KI cuz i was paying. not cuz he wanted to hang out with me
he did say he enjoyed being with me. yeah buddy im sure you did with your earbuds in and forsaken tiktoks blaring! sounds like a grand time to me!
you weren't really with me. you were there because you was paying your way and you were indulged in your same little world, just in a different setting. you never even talk to me unless you need to vent. i have to squeeze it out of you

ik this is a really ridiculous thing for my age but i had a nightmare about killing a bunch of cats and im upset cuz most of them were white and my old cat was primarily white :(
it was so graphic i can taste blood in my mouth
i was driving forks through the heads of some and boiling others
im so traumatized :(((

why do people softblock on twitter??? there's literally no reason for it when you can just unfollow and then remove follower 😓😓😓 not everyone is smart enough to remember who they were mutuals with and suddenly aren't anymore. my dumbass is gonna just follow you back each time you softblock me. its happened before