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[Raining and Flooding!]
It's currently flooding out here.. Free entrance pool anyone? (ใ๏ผพโ๏ผพ)
But seriously.. My family and i just finished carrying everything to safety, some stuff got soaked but are salvageable thankfully!
While other stuff just needs to dry a bit and we should be good!
My first priority were my cats and dogs who are outside.
The flood was already thigh high. Well- for someone who's short that's how high it was. But as the rain continued to pour the water was now waist high and by that time we successfully got everything up to a drier area!
But if this rainstorm continues.. (Still is as of typing this) It'll reach our balcony that's just a leg length away :')
And this never happened before back when my mother was young. So to experience that now is a lot worrying.
We even had to check on our elderly...Read Full Rant
Why is it when she has a headache or something im taking care of things but when I ask for the same when im sick and my head is pounding I still have to do eveything man f### you and you nail appointments.
p#### you. why did you even go if you were gonna be either laying there unresponsively or listening to music the whole time?
i hate my grandma but u are a little s###. she was right about that
HOLY F###... why does everything always fall on ME?? like iโm the fkn default person to fix s###, clean up the mess, be the understanding one, the forgiving one, the strong one. iโm SO done playing therapist to people who wouldnโt even notice if i disappeared. iโm tired of pretending iโm okay just so no one else feels uncomfortable. do i get to break down?? do i get to scream?? noโcuz then iโm โtoo muchโ or โoverreacting.โ nah. f### that. for once, i wanna be the problem. i wanna be loud. i wanna be selfish. iโm drowning and yโall just keep handing me more water.
u ever get replaced so fast it makes u feel like u were never actually important in the first place?? like d###. u already out doin s### w someone else n im still here crying over u. must be nice to move on like nothin happened.
everyone's got their little group chat or bestie or smth and im just... here. scrollin. lurkin. tryin not to look desperate when all i want is for someone to just be like โhey i miss u.โ itโs quiet af and this silence is loud.
i cook, i clean, i fkn try. and he just comes home and scrolls on his phone like im a backround character. doesnt even ask how my day was. like bro?? i exist too??? tf do i have to do, light myself on fire to get attention??
why tf does everyone just wanna f### now?? like i have a heart too yk? im not just a hole for u to get ur nut and leave. i want cuddles and deep convos and forehead kisses but apparently that makes me clingy or crazy. idk. maybe love just aint for ppl like me.
i could disappear and no one would even notice. i be talkin and ppl just.. act like i said nothin. i send texts n get left on read. i show up for ppl and when im not ok its crickets. makes me feel like a ghost w a heartbeat. like i exist but not really.
my mom always tells me im lazy but like.. maybe im depressed? ever think of that? no? just keep callin me useless and yelling at me for sleepin too much. that should fix it. real cure right there. ๐